Welcome to Gratitude Driven, a weekly newsletter where I share practical ideas and insights across personal growth, professional development, and the world of AI and data science.
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What 100K+ Engineers Read to Stay Ahead
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Answering Your Questions - 100k Subscriber Q&A
This week I sat down to answer your questions. Everything from how to stay up to date on new AI tooling, to how to believing in yourself, and my thoughts on staying competitive in the age of AI. Check it out below.
Thanks again for the 100k!
Catch me on a podcast!
Speaking of answering questions, I was also recently on a podcast. In this conversation with Day Two Dev Ops, we discussed my path to Amazon, what my day-to-day looks like, and all about AI Engineering. Check that out here.
I’d love to do more conversations like this, so if there are podcasts you think I should try to join, let me know by replying to this email and I’ll reach out to them.
The Advice You Hate Is the Advice You Need
If you're into personal development, you've probably noticed two competing schools of thought on performance:
The Hustle Camp: Alex Hormozi, David Goggins, and Jocko Willink telling you to work harder. Outwork the competition, never give up, never settle for less. Success will follow.
The Rest Camp: Brené Brown, Arianna Huffington, and all the therapists on TikTok telling you to be gentle with yourself, honor your limits, and practice "self-care."
Both perspectives have merit, but the problem is that exactly the wrong kinds of people respond to each.
If you're naturally driven, disciplined, and set a high bar for yourself, you'll resonate with the hustle narrative. I know I do. My default when I start getting overwhelmed is to push down my stress, ignore my feelings, and work until my eyes bleed. Do it again the next day. Goggins screaming "stay hard" plays on repeat in my brain.
On the other hand, if you're someone who isn't naturally driven, it's comforting to hear that "actually, to succeed, you just need to chill out." This person takes "self-care" a little too seriously. They tell themselves they've earned a day off from the gym. They spend three hours watching TV because they "need to decompress." They scroll and never actually make progress on their goals. All the while, they're telling themselves it's fine because rest is part of the process.
The truth is, both of these people need the opposite advice.
The hard driver genuinely does need to slow down and recover to do their best work. And the chronic self-care-giver probably does need to buckle down and push through the discomfort.
The problem is that it hurts to implement advice that doesn't fit with your worldview. We usually only do it when we hit some kind of breaking point.
For me, that breaking point came when I could no longer maintain high-quality work output. I was putting in the hours but producing garbage, because I was physically and mentally exhausted. I had to accept that maybe the "rest" people weren't just making excuses (it still makes me uncomfortable to write that, even though I know it’s true).
So I've been deliberately building more time for rest into my day. Nothing crazy, just small changes that help me take my nervous system down a notch. Things like:
Making sure I have an hour or so each night to read fiction (specifically fiction. It cannot be for learning/my book/personal development).
Waking up a bit earlier so I get quiet time for meditation before everyone else is up.
Making sure I take at least a few hours to just chill on the weekends.
Removing social media from my phone and blocking email before 8am.
So far it’s going well. I’ve been more productive and happier about work. I’m excited to push myself during working hours. And I’m nicer to be around in general. 😬
If you're reading this and thinking "wow, must be nice to have to force yourself to rest"—this message might not be for you.
If you're someone who feels uncomfortable when productivity influencers tell you to push harder, to stop making excuses, to do the thing even when you don't feel like it... maybe there's something YOU need to hear in that discomfort, too.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the advice that makes you defensive is often the advice that would help you grow the most.
If "rest more" makes you roll your eyes, that's probably your sign.
If "work harder" makes you defensive, that's probably yours.
Growth lives in the friction between who you are and who you're becoming. And that friction is inevitably going to be uncomfortable.
So, what have you been resisting? Reply to this email and let me know.
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